FITNESS-EXERCISE-HABITS

This picture is how I have been feeling .  TORN.  See I have always loved fitness, exercise, and been interested in eating healthy.  Still I have never practiced it very religiously. If it became hard I found excuses to not do it.  If it interfered with the life of others,  I put what I wanted aside and put cleaning the house, and caring for other things first.  Truthfully this was not very hard due to the fact that I didn't really enjoy eating healthy  or exercising.  It was kinda like I wanted to DIE every time I had to workout.  THEN  I did the slim in 6 program.  My goal was to eat mostly healthy and not skip any workouts.  I was successful,  missing only 1 day in 6 weeks.  With that I also went to the gym and did other workouts as well.  I didn't LOVE it.  It took SERIOUS discipline most days,  I would not finish the video until literally almost midnight.  That was because I would put it off then  not be able to go to sleep until I went down and got it in.  Even if I had already gone to 2 classes that day the goal was the video and it had to be done.   The thing that made that possible is my husband was out of town for 3 of the weeks and my kids were in school.  See when others aren't around it is soooo much easier to make ourselves a priority:)

After that 6 weeks exercise became a habit.  The feeling it brought,  I came to LOVE and now when I don't get it in I'm a beastly person.  Saturday I didn't  go to my morning classes due to guilt and I was off all day.  See it's like the song from WICKED.  "Something as changed within me.  Something is not the same."

  I want to workout and I want to eat healthy.  I actually want to eat the fruit  not the frosting.  If you have read previous posts this is not normal for me.    This quote below is one I see all the time, I think it is true ALWAYS after the fact.   Yet while I am in the workout my mind is feeling nothing but regret for all the things I should be doing instead.

I LOVE step classes and other classes at the gym.  I do not love the early morning ones,  nor do I love getting up early. I have older kids we tend to be up late & sleep is also important:)  RESULT.... I find when I am at the gym my mind says LORI you should be home cleaning, when I'm cleaning I want to be at the gym, when I'm doing either 1 of them I think LORI you should be spending time with your kids. WHY am I like this????  It's not like I don't spend the rest the day with them.  Furthermore who cares if the house is a little dirty?  ONLY ME:)

  When I am with others and they are not eating healthy,  I find if join in eating unhealthy then I am mad.  If I do eat healthy I feel bad.  I have a family trip coming up and I know it will be hard to stay focused on it due to these reasons.  But man I work to freaking hard for each and every pound I am not about to throw it away.  I am trying to adopt the thought of GET OVER IT LORI!!!!
I guess when all is said & done it's all about choices,


If is were easy I would have conquered this mountain a LONG LONG LONG time ago.  It's not meant to be easy.  The effort we put into it is what makes the result so exciting!  The endorphins we get after a 4 mph walk around the block are nothing like the ones we get after a die hard,  kick butt workout that leaves our clothes drenched in sweat.  Those ones are the ones that keep me wanting to come back for more.  I love waking up to sore muscles and knowing I did something yesterday.  I am not where I need to be yet,  I still have a SUPER LONG way to go,  but I am loving this journey.