I Exercised like CRazY this week!!!!! I ate good and only lost a tiny measly 2 pounds. Everything I know about permanent weight loss tells me that this is not a terrible thing. When you lose weight slowly, it is more likely to stay off and the chances of the weight you lost being fat & not muscle is higher. Still, I would REALLY like to see HIGHER numbers.
One thing I have really had to work on this week is my RAGING TEMPER. Dieting always seems to spark that "wonderful" side of my personality. I am so use to dealing with emotion by "OH I don't love how this moment feels. Let's go bake cookies and eat them." "I LOVE how this moment feels. Let's go bake some cookies and eat them." YA it's just emotion good bad doesn't matter.... So what's a girl who has ran her life like this for years to do when she can't eat sweets 24/7? GOOD QUESTION!!!!! I would love to go to the gym all day,(ya not really) but fortunately & AWESOMELY I do have a family to care for that doesn't love the idea of constant exercise. I could immerse myself in books on CD, which I have also done. I am in the process of listening to Unbroken . This is not typically my type of story. I have a really hard time with cruel violence. Yet something about this story has captured me & I have to force myself to turn it off. It's amazing what the human spirit is capable of enduring. I also listen to it on my I-pod. It's a little intense for young ears. I could hang out at the Clive library with Ashlynn until the librarians are wondering if I have no home to return to:) Hey it is the coolest library EVER!!!!
There are moments however when my temper comes out & I realize, "man, LORI, you have issues." Example below. . .
It was date night. I was so excited. Date night had not happened in awhile & I could not wait to go somewhere without children. I had arranged everything. Dinner for the kids--healthy pizzas in the freezer:) I rented videos and a wii game. I even looked up what are the healthiest restaurants so that I could choose a good place to eat that Jers would like and I could eat healthy. The time to leave was arriving, but my babysitter (my daughter) had not. Jers was suppose to be home from picking up Daxon but was not. I went out to the freezer to get the pizzas and they were gone. WHAT THE HECK!!!!! I called J.D. He cooked them last week. The school had a fire drill and were not letting kids leave until the bell rang to let the kids back in. Alyssa had just decided to go hang out with her friend, but did not call to ask. Her response was "Didn't you get my text?" Um NO!!!
5:30 is now upon us and I'm HUNGRY-have no sitter-no husband and have to figure out what to feed these kids. I am NOT happy. I am not so sure I want to go on a date. 5 minutes ago I am dancing around so excited to get out. Now I just want to EAT.... Like I said issues. I start to do sandwiches (remember I am STARVING) so I start taking nibbles of cheese , meat, BREAD and a PEANUT BUTTER COOKIE then I am so mad!!!!!!! I call J.D. to say "I cannot be responsible to do dinner or be around food on a night I am going out...I am HUNGRY so I eat then I'm mad, because of the calories I won't be able to eat when we go out. This is an emergency J.D.!!!! I am LOOSING it. You have to get home now." Jers replies "get in the car and come over to the school, finish waiting for Daxon, I will come home & finish dinner." YES, he's a great man. I didn't go to the school, but I left the kitchen figuring my kids are old enough to make a sandwich themselves. I did make Ashlynn's. We eventually made it on our date. I didn't blow it too badly before we left & I ate awesome when we went out. Jason's Deli has great healthy choices for me & tasty unhealthy choices for J.D. he likes that:)
I do LOVE how much easier it gets everyday to JUST SAY NO when you said it the day before. Once I give in to just that cookie or taste, I just want to quit for the day. But every time I walk away it gets easier & I feel a little stronger the next time pizza is sat in front of me. Man I love pizza:)
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